My problem when I was younger was that teachers would get frustrated very quickly with me- I liked asking questions, and they would call my parents claiming I disrupted the class. I probably did, in some way, but I wanted to actually understand what was being taught, and the teachers either were not used to that, or found that they could not answer me adequately and became annoyed.
In regards to being smart, I remember many adults telling me I was very "articulate" and "smart" for a 12 year-old. I do not think that was necessarily a good thing. Unfortunately, I was not exposed to any real science nor did I have anyone explain math to me in a way that was easily accessible at the time. I would quickly give up on subjects if I did not grasp the material right away. I think part of the problem was that I liked asking questions related to the topics I was learning, but only if I understood what was being taught, like if I were to ask about other stars in the galaxy outside of the sun. However I would not ask the teacher to re-explain something to me. It felt embarrassing and awkward to not know.
Now, I usually look up the subject before I ask questions. If I do not understand something in math, I go back to my dorm room and do the odd problems (which have answers in the back of the book) and see what I am failing to do right. If I still do not understand, I email the teacher, or go to my college's resource center.
(If I do anything wrong here, please tell me. I don't know what I'm doing and would benefit from being told what I've got wrong, if anything. I've never made a top-level post here before.)
So, it seems like most people here are really smart. And a lot of us, I'm betting, will have been identified as smart when we were children, and gotten complimented on it a lot. And it's pretty common for that to really mess you up, and then you don't end up reaching your full potential. Admittedly, maybe only people who've gotten past all that read Less Wrong. Maybe I'm the exception. But somehow I doubt that very much.
So here's the only thing I can think of to say if this is your situation: ask stupid questions.
Seriously, even if it shows that you have no clue what was just said. (Especially if it shows that. You don't want to continue not understanding.) You can optimize for being smart, you can optimize for seeming smart, but sometimes you need to pick which one to optimize for. It may make you uncomfortable to admit to not knowing something. It may make you feel like the people around you will stop thinking you're all-knowing. But if you don't know how to ask stupid questions, and you just keep pretending to understand, you'll fall behind and eventually be outed as being really, really stupid, instead of just pretty normal. Which sounds worse?
Here, let me demonstrate: so, what tags go on this post and how would I know?
So, anyone else know of any similar things to do, to get back to optimizing for being smart instead of for seeming smart?