EphemeralNight comments on Less Wrong mentoring thread - Less Wrong

31 Post author: John_Maxwell_IV 29 December 2011 12:10AM

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Comment author: Alicorn 29 December 2011 11:52:15PM *  26 points [-]

*consults Google Maps*

*reads OKC profile*

If you're poly-friendly and want to haul yourself down to Berkeley sometime after, call it January 10, and you're interested, I'll go out with you at least once. We can talk about worldbuilding and Nightwish and whatnot.

If not I could just give profile-optimizing tips. Or if so I could give profile-optimizing tips, for that matter.

Comment author: EphemeralNight 30 December 2011 12:29:38AM 4 points [-]

That's... quite generous of you.

I think I may want to take you up on that at some point, if the offer's serious.

Comment author: Alicorn 30 December 2011 01:52:15PM 3 points [-]

Offer's serious ^^

Comment author: EphemeralNight 01 January 2012 01:27:34AM 0 points [-]

Well, cool.

I'll definitely see about getting myself down to Berkeley after the holidays are through.

After giving it a bit of thought, I'm reasonably sure I have plenty of reasons to accept the offer and no reasons not to, even if the idea does stir up a bit of my old social timidity.

Oh, and while I'm not exactly poly myself, I'm definitely poly-friendly.

Comment author: Alicorn 01 January 2012 01:46:42AM 2 points [-]

Are you inexactly poly?

Comment author: EphemeralNight 01 January 2012 04:34:59AM *  2 points [-]

Heh.

Well, I don't actually have much experience in this area (obviously), so this is based mostly on introspection and guesswork, but I have observed in myself a distinct reluctance to split my attention among things which I feel individually merit more than cursory attention.

I don't know what this actually amounts to in practice. I suspect this means that if I had multiple girlfriends, as soon as one was clearly my primary, I would find myself inclined to neglect my relationships with the others. (Which, combined with a touch of Projection, is why I once referred to myself as "naturally monogamous"--I now think that's an oversimplification and not necessarily a good thing.). However, as I've never even had one girlfriend at a time, this is all speculation, and I'm most likely near the limits of what I can learn through introspection.

So I'm... potentially poly, verification pending? :P

Comment author: Solvent 02 January 2012 03:39:38AM 1 point [-]

That was very nicely said.

Have you ever really liked a girl who was going out with a friend of yours? How jealous did you feel? That could help shed light on how poly you could be.

Comment author: EphemeralNight 02 January 2012 11:32:34AM 1 point [-]

Oh, that's not a concern at all.

I've never been in that exact situation, but I have been in situations where I think I would have felt jealousy if I was likely to in general, and didn't. Jealousy has never really even been an issue for me, even before I knew poly was a thing.

I would be extremely surprised if I ended up having issues with jealousy.

Comment author: Solvent 02 January 2012 11:35:01AM 0 points [-]

That's certainly a good sign.