= 27d567bc2d48d9f40e9ccc20ea370b15)
daenerys comments on I'd like to talk to some LGBT LWers. - Less Wrong
You are viewing a comment permalink. View the original post to see all comments and the full post content.
= 783df68a0f980790206b9ea87794c5b6)
Loading…= b715d02e85f7b3b4ae65ca3d3e450868)
Subscribe to RSS Feed
Powered by Reddit
= f037147d6e6c911a85753b9abdedda8d)
You are viewing a comment permalink. View the original post to see all comments and the full post content.
Comments (72)
If people can promise not to start going flamey, then I would love to see this as a non-private discussion here.
Otherwise, you can PM me: I'm a feminist, heteroflexible (I'm attracted to both, but tend to date guys, because it's easier), polyamorous person. Also, until recently I was an exotic dancer. Almost all of my best friends are pro-dom(mes).
For feminist blogs, I recommend Skepchick and No, Seriously, What About teh Menz.
Skepchick's Rebbeca Watson often says things which women tend to agree with, but men find threatening. (For those of you who are on the atheist subreddit, an example would be the recent blog post re: not upvoting rape joke comments on a pic of a pretty 15 year-old girl holding a picture of a Sagan book.)
What About teh Menz focuses on the male side of the coin. I suppose you could call it "masculinist", but it still fits under my definition of feminism which is about gender equality for everyone (ex. men should be ok to wear dresses, which are super comfortable, and able to cry in public/express emotions without being called "sissy")
In what way(s)?
The shortest and easiest answer is availability. When I meet a guy, I can assume he is interested in females. However, when I meet a girl, I generally assume she is interested in males.
Also, more men than women fit my "pre-reqs" which include: Interested in females, atheist (or similar), geeky, polyamorous.
Example of differences in availability- In my search parameters on OKC who comes up with a match rating of 90% of higher?
Males- 35 of them. I have never seen one looking for "just friends". 23 of them are listed as Single.
Females- 11 of them. Some looking for "just friends". Only 4 are listed as "Single". Most already have serious primaries. (long-term SO, or married) This is fine, but means that the relationship will be unlikely to move past secondary. Also, 6 are "bi", which on OKC is sometimes just used as signalling, and "bi" girls aren't necessarily bi IRL.
A longer answer is that it is easier socially, and dating guys is society's (and my own) "default". I might post another answer explaining that, if I feel like writing a decent amount.
Interesting! What do you think a "bi" listing can signal? Openness to experience?
Edited for clarity. Also: I'm not complaining, but I am genuinely curious as to why this comment has been downvoted. Is this a sensitive topic?
According to OkTrends, 80% of people who claim to be bi on OkCupid only send messages to one sex.
Or they really are bi but find it easier to date one sex (like daenerys, although I don't know what her OkCupid orientation and messaging behavior are).
When I was only messaging guys on okc, I set my orientation to straight, even though I considered myself heteroflex, because I didn't want to falsely advertise to women. However in the match questions I answered the relevant questions as bi.
When I realized it was stupid for me to not message women on okc (I had been messaging guys as a default behaviour, even though okc allowed me to search only for bi/gay females, thus eliminating my primary reason for not dating girls in the first place), I changed my orientation to bi.
I hadn't thought of that. Thanks.
Conversely, it might mean that 80% of bi people on OKC with a preference for one gender or another send messages only to their preferred gender.
Or you can simply be bi and really picky about one gender. I used to be bi on okcupid but switched to straight when the only people looking at my profile were bears I wasn't at all attracted to.
Fascinating, thank you. I also realize that I should have Googled that before asking.
I talked with Ozy from What About teh Menz today. It was quite enlightening. Thanks for the links.
If you two wouldn't mind sharing, I'd be really interested in knowing what you guys discussed, and what in particular you found enlightening. I'm sure others would too!
I'd be fine with giving people a copy of the chat logs, perhaps with one slight edit to remove something personalish I said. I don't think I discussed this with Ozy ahead of time, and I'll ask zir about it.
EDIT: Having reread the log of the chat, I think that there is quite a bit of useful information in it, but a few bits are probably private. I'll ask Ozy.