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daenerys comments on I'd like to talk to some LGBT LWers. - Less Wrong
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The shortest and easiest answer is availability. When I meet a guy, I can assume he is interested in females. However, when I meet a girl, I generally assume she is interested in males.
Also, more men than women fit my "pre-reqs" which include: Interested in females, atheist (or similar), geeky, polyamorous.
Example of differences in availability- In my search parameters on OKC who comes up with a match rating of 90% of higher?
Males- 35 of them. I have never seen one looking for "just friends". 23 of them are listed as Single.
Females- 11 of them. Some looking for "just friends". Only 4 are listed as "Single". Most already have serious primaries. (long-term SO, or married) This is fine, but means that the relationship will be unlikely to move past secondary. Also, 6 are "bi", which on OKC is sometimes just used as signalling, and "bi" girls aren't necessarily bi IRL.
A longer answer is that it is easier socially, and dating guys is society's (and my own) "default". I might post another answer explaining that, if I feel like writing a decent amount.
Interesting! What do you think a "bi" listing can signal? Openness to experience?
Edited for clarity. Also: I'm not complaining, but I am genuinely curious as to why this comment has been downvoted. Is this a sensitive topic?
According to OkTrends, 80% of people who claim to be bi on OkCupid only send messages to one sex.
Or they really are bi but find it easier to date one sex (like daenerys, although I don't know what her OkCupid orientation and messaging behavior are).
When I was only messaging guys on okc, I set my orientation to straight, even though I considered myself heteroflex, because I didn't want to falsely advertise to women. However in the match questions I answered the relevant questions as bi.
When I realized it was stupid for me to not message women on okc (I had been messaging guys as a default behaviour, even though okc allowed me to search only for bi/gay females, thus eliminating my primary reason for not dating girls in the first place), I changed my orientation to bi.
I hadn't thought of that. Thanks.
Conversely, it might mean that 80% of bi people on OKC with a preference for one gender or another send messages only to their preferred gender.
Or you can simply be bi and really picky about one gender. I used to be bi on okcupid but switched to straight when the only people looking at my profile were bears I wasn't at all attracted to.
Fascinating, thank you. I also realize that I should have Googled that before asking.