Dmytry comments on The Gift I Give Tomorrow - Less Wrong
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Well tbh the only way I see the ritual as useful is for manipulation - the manipulation of kids, the conformance to the society which is exclusively tolerant of weird repetitive rituals than of equally weird spontaneous actions (the same kind of action, if repeatedly done by multiple people, is protected by constitution and allows to avoid taxation, and if done by one person spontaneously gets that person sectioned into mental hospital)
With regards to the utility, the rituals really annoy people who are not into ritualized actions. When your relative is into some ritual, and you have to conform to it, move your schedule around, miss things, and so on - you feel you are being manipulated, pushed around, and screwed over. You are being manipulated by the manipulator who's adjusting their own happiness function to force you to do nonsensical stuff to avoid making them unhappy. Arbitrarily adjusting own happiness function when there are other people around who care about your happiness, is in some important way deeply dishonest and abuses their care.
Read this chapter of Secular Wholeness for an engineer's take on the purpose and usefulness of rituals in non-religious life.
Summary:
That's an excellent article. Thanks Rain.
Among other things, gave me a definition of ritual that was actually useful.