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Swimmer963 comments on How I Ended Up Non-Ambitious - Less Wrong
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I'll try to provide an example.
I have natural ability for a few things, all artistic. It I taboo "natural ability," I get automatic, plentiful idea generation and high deliberate-practice-to-broadened-vocabulary ratio (I don't have to work much to be able to do a lot).
I'm best at drums and filmmaking. I've played in lots of bands and gone pretty far career-wise, but I've hardly done any filmmaking besides a few music videos. Why?
I can improve at drums mostly by myself, at my own pace -- essential, as it turns out (I've tested this in music classes and on a drumming retreat, both of which I quit because I got too overwhelmed). When I have to work with others, it's usually a small group. Rock band instrumentation usually consists of drums, guitar, bass, and vocals, just enough for my poor social modeling circuitry to handle. Filmmaking requires cooperation with dozens or even hundreds. Giving direction to more than a couple of people at once doesn't really work, because I get impatient... and then rude... or think I've been rude even if I haven't, which starts a silent spiral into apathy. Coping mechanisms probably exist, but I've never been in a position to discover them.
So I think for me it comes down to limited social ability/energy. Being socially incompetent is personally exhausting, as well as harmful to proper networking (being seen as someone who's easy to work with). To avoid burnout, I have to funnel my talents through the pursuit that saps my vigor the least.
Reading LW has only changed my life in that I'm much less likely to wall off entire sections of my mind and experience just because they imply stress. Knowledge is power... but that power isn't necessarily sublime... unless its sublime in the way evolution or a glacier is sublime; that is, not necessarily impressive on a moment-to-moment basis.
It sounds like at the very least, you are quite aware of what your "limiting factor" is, and which things it limits or doesn't limit. If you're an adult and still have this problem, you might be right that it would be difficult or even impossible to overcome.
However, it seems to me that building social skills for structured situations, i.e. the particular situation of filming and giving a bunch of people directions, are things that improve with time and practice. I used to find most social situations stressful and exhausting, but the ones I've put myself into over and over again have become comparatively comfortable. For example, teaching first aid to a group of rowdy 20 thirteen-year-olds is something I would have found extremely challenging and frustrating when I was younger, and I still would have been scared as little as three years ago–but now I'm confident enough to enjoy it. Whereas large group events, like school cocktail evenings and parties where I don't know a lot of people, are still generally unpleasant–I don't know what I'm supposed to do, what my role in the situation is and how I can execute it gracefully. That's likely because I hardly ever go to those kind of parties.
[Side note: your experience of directing in filmmaking brings me back to a tenth grade experience being the unofficial leader of a group in drama class and trying to direct a mini play. This is probably one of the most frustrating experiences I've ever had at school–I have no ability to tell other people (my equals) what to do in a socially graceful way, without being rude and making them dislike me. Situations with a power differential, i.e. teacher-student, make it a lot clearer to me how I can and can't instruct other people.]
I don't know whether your social skills are an overcome-able barrier to success, or not. If you've reached adulthood without them improving at all, that doesn't sound promising–but if you've improved from the point of not being able to work in small groups, i.e. bands, to being able to...then it might just be a matter of structured practice in situations where you have positive feedback. Though your "deliberate-practice-to-broadened-vocabulary" might be very low compared to areas where you are "talented".