moridinamael comments on How I Ended Up Non-Ambitious - Less Wrong

113 Post author: Swimmer963 23 January 2012 11:50PM

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Comment author: [deleted] 24 January 2012 03:39:23AM *  0 points [-]

there's no need to model the audience on an individual basis.

Yeah, I've played in front of thousands of people with no problem. It really is the workload of individual modeling.

I'm not sure what the threshold represents. Do you find that you rarely coast on small talk, preferring instead to ask pointed questions for which you expect well-articulated truthful answers, all with the agenda of developing the most accurate model of that person within the time given?

Comment author: moridinamael 24 January 2012 07:19:19AM 1 point [-]

I wouldn't say I'm quite that clinical about it. I try to connect with people, I try to imagine what it's like to be them, and there is a certain amount of calculated questioning in order to determine if I'm seeing them clearly. I try to make people feel liked and respected even when I'm arguing with them, and general would rather be polite than win an argument. When there are too many people, I feel like my interjections will not serve to meaningfully connect with anyone, so I refrain from saying anything.

So I suppose you're exactly right that I generally don't use small talk, except as an "opener.". I'm quite bad at it. Of course, I doubt that anybody but myself notices any of this about me.