Looking back on what I just wrote, I should also say that dealing with emotions is a skill.

Have you read Alicorn's Luminosity sequence? If not, you might find it relevant.

Also, I've discovered the same thing as you: dealing with emotions is hard-to-develop skill. I'm pretty good at identifying my emotions, maybe even better than most people, and if I have time to sit down and think about it, I'm pretty good at dissecting what is causing them. So far that has not made it any easier to control them, or to get rid of my automatic negative responses to things that I don't want to respond negatively to. Just knowing what my emotions are and what is causing them isn't enough.