Ok fair enough, can you propose a better way to ask?

Ask as if you did not already have a presumption about what the answer should be. Telling people they're idiots unless they agree with you will only convince them you are someone they do not want to talk to.

Your latest reformulation is better -- the key substitution is "do" instead of "would". The second and third bullet points are absolutely fine, but in the first and in the final paragraph you're still sticking your own oar in with "considering its high costs and dubious benefits" and "shock people into thinking about it beyond cached thoughts". There are, as it happens, people who have thought carefully about what arrangement they want to make on these matters, and without having to be told about cached thoughts either, but you will never hear them with that approach.