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I find decapitation works the best -- you take about 5kg off right at the start, and continue losing gradually (but not as drastically) from then on.
I find that when I'm trying to teleport to Pluto, the first step is to scrunch up my forehead really hard and teleport to Mars.
Uh, you appreciate that even if the Sun, Earth, Mars, and Pluto are all neatly aligned, you will barely be any closer to Pluto when you get to Mars than you were here?
On the other hand, maybe Dr Manhattan can give you a lift...
You do realize, I hope, that comments now start with a score of 0?
Maybe people didn't realize they were jokes?
I don't know, I've made some dumb jokes and they got voted up, so I'm confused.