Upvoted for making me laugh until it hurt.

You could probably get sufficiently-twisted kids to do this on the usual Halloween. Dress them up as professors of philosophy or something; it'd be far scarier than zombie costumes. (This would actually be fantastic.)

Alternately, dress up as a "philosopher" (Large fake beard and pipe, maybe?), set up something like a fake retiring room on your front porch, tell small children that their daily lives are based on subtly but critically broken premises, and give them candy. (Don't actually do this, unless your neighbors love or hate you unconditionally. Or you're moving away soon.)