for no one to feel neglected and everyone to enjoy themselves it is necessary for the actor to stop trying to achieve any goal.

Do you mean that the person in question has to just sit back and relax? That they have to stop trying to steer the direction of the conversation and just let it flow? Or that they have to focus on other people's enjoyment rather than their own enjoyment? The former doesn't feel true for me, in that having someone with good social skills and an idea of people's interests steer the conversation can make it more enjoyable rather than less so. The latter, maybe true, but I wouldn't want to live like that.