Every time I try listening to myself, my subconscious invents me some new and "deep" explanation that I then actually believe for a day or two. It's an endless quest.

That's not listening, and it's not your subconscious. Your other-than-conscious mind doesn't do explanations -- heck, it doesn't even grok abstractions, except for an intuitive (and biased) sense of probabilities for a given context (external+internal state).

The type of listening I'm referring to is paying attention to autonomous responses (e.g. a flash of people laughing at you if you fail), not making up theories or explanations. It's harder to learn, but more worthwhile.