NancyLebovitz comments on Welcome to Less Wrong! - Less Wrong
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For what it's worth, I generally see some variant of "please don't flame me" attached only to posts which I'd call inoffensive even without it. I'm not crazy about seeing "please don't flame me", but I write it off to nervousness and don't blame people for using it.
Caveat: I'm pretty sure that "please don't flame me" won't work in social justice venues.