Winning Interpersonally
cousin_it would like to know how rationality has actually helped us win. However, in his article, he completely gives up on rationality in one major area, admitting that "interpersonal relationships are out."
Alex strenuously disagrees, asking "why are interpersonal relationships out? I think rationality can help a great deal here."
(And, of course, I suppose everone knows my little sob-story by now.)
I'd like to get a read from the community on this question.
Is rationality useless -- or worse, a liability when dealing with other human beings? How much does it matter if those human beings are themselves self-professed rationalists? It's been noted that Less Wrong is incredibly male. I have no idea whether this represents an actual gender differential in desire for epistemic rationality, but if it does, it means most male Less Wrongers should not expect to wind up dating rationalists. Does this mean that it is necessary for us to embrace less than accurate beliefs about, eg, our own desirability, that of our partner, various inherently confused concepts of romantic fate, or whatever supernatural beliefs our partners wish do defend? Does this mean it is necessary to make the world more rational, simply so that we can live in it?
(note: this draft was written a while before Gender and Rationality, so there's probably some stuff I'd rewrite to take that into account)
Rationality helping in relationships (here used to mean all interpersonal, not just romance) :
Use "outside view" to figure out how your interactions look to others; not only to the person you are talking to but also to the social web around you.
Focus on the goals, yours and theirs. If these do not match, the relationship is doomed in the long run, romantic or not.
Obviously, the whole list of cognitive biases and how to counter them. When you -know- you are doing something stupid, catching yourself rationalizing it and what not, you learn not to do that stupid thing.
I've often had half-finished LW post ideas and crossed them off for a number of reasons, mostly they were too rough or undeveloped and I didn't feel expert enough. Other people might worry their post would be judged harshly, or feel overwhelmed, or worried about topicality, or they just want some community input before adding it.
So: this is a special sort of open thread. Please post your unfinished ideas and sketches for LW posts here as comments, if you would like constructive critique, assistance and checking from people with more expertise, etc. Just pile them in without worrying too much. Ideas can be as short as a single sentence or as long as a finished post. Both subject and presentation are on topic in replies. Bad ideas should be mined for whatever good can be found in them. Good ideas should be poked with challenges to make them stronger. No being nasty!