Fatigue. Large amounts of depressing fatigue.

It's particularly bothersome because I just recently got a very good example of how irrational it makes me. This entire post was originally written before some of the coffee I had kicked in. I was typing up my post, and I read it, and I thought there was a good chance people were going to worry about me being suicidal. And then the caffeine kicked in, and I felt more awake, and I thought "Well, that's not very descriptive. I'm depressed, but I'm not THAT depressed." and then I rewrote everything. And then I realized what I was doing, and then I had to rewrite everything to acknowledge both states.

Basically, the knowledge that "I'm entirely irrational while I'm worn out" and "I'm worn out most of the time." put together, hurts me quite a bit in my Less Wrong parts. Of course, it might just be the availability heuristic. I might actually be less worn out then I remember. But then that brings up "A substantial majority of my recent memories seem to be of me being worn out/irrational." as it's own separate problem.

Using your tool analogy, it would best be described as "My tools are dull. Sometimes, they are VERY dull, to the point where I feel like I'm about to snap them. I would like to sharpen my tools, but I don't usually have the time, because people keep needing those tools NOW, and not later, so I apply chemicals which make them feel sharper, but also feel like they are weakening the blade." I do have a 10 day long vacation coming up for my birthday, which I am looking forward too substantially. I expect I'll feel substantially sharper afterwards. But in the meantime... I am my dull tools.