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John_Maxwell_IV comments on Optimizing your Social Network - Less Wrong
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Is this really the best attitude to take? I tend to think that friends you can tell anything to, and who can tell anything to you, are the most valuable contacts.
Why not both? Eg. optimizing for a few really close friends and many more useful acquaintances/friends?
All that means is that you have a different definition of value for your friendships. It's important to focus on what exactly you want from your friends, but I see no reason that definition of value would be incompatible with trying to consciously cultivate stronger and better relationships.
So let's run with that. What can one do to intentionally try and grow those sorts of strong bonds with people? I'm reminded of a quote from HPMoR:
Or he has different preferences than you do, but is using the word "value" in roughly the same way that you are.
You guys postulated differing values too easily.
These statements are compatible. You can optimize your social network for good friends who you can really talk to, and then make maximum use by really talking to them. Sounds like a good idea.