John_Maxwell_IV comments on Optimizing your Social Network - Less Wrong

14 [deleted] 26 April 2012 07:26PM

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Comment author: John_Maxwell_IV 26 April 2012 08:37:07PM 2 points [-]

What ideas or knowledge do you have for optimizing your social network and sqeezing it for all it's worth?

Is this really the best attitude to take? I tend to think that friends you can tell anything to, and who can tell anything to you, are the most valuable contacts.

Comment author: Jesper_Ostman 27 April 2012 09:15:31AM 3 points [-]

Why not both? Eg. optimizing for a few really close friends and many more useful acquaintances/friends?

Comment author: wgd 26 April 2012 09:09:38PM *  3 points [-]

All that means is that you have a different definition of value for your friendships. It's important to focus on what exactly you want from your friends, but I see no reason that definition of value would be incompatible with trying to consciously cultivate stronger and better relationships.

So let's run with that. What can one do to intentionally try and grow those sorts of strong bonds with people? I'm reminded of a quote from HPMoR:

"One of my tutors once said that people form close friendships by knowing private things about each other, and the reason most people don't make close friends is because they're too embarrassed to share anything really important about themselves."

Comment author: Dorikka 26 April 2012 09:28:24PM 1 point [-]

All that means is that you have a different definition of value for your friendships.

Or he has different preferences than you do, but is using the word "value" in roughly the same way that you are.

Comment author: [deleted] 27 April 2012 04:31:04AM 1 point [-]

You guys postulated differing values too easily.

Comment author: [deleted] 27 April 2012 04:16:59AM 1 point [-]

These statements are compatible. You can optimize your social network for good friends who you can really talk to, and then make maximum use by really talking to them. Sounds like a good idea.