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Vladimir_Nesov comments on Do people think Less Wrong rationality is parochial? - Less Wrong
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HAMLET. Seems, madam! nay it is; I know not 'seems.'
The people here are weird, even by the standards of other rationalist communities, which of course are a bunch of big weirdos themselves by the standards of the general population.
If you're here, you're a big weirdo by conventional standards. Get over it.
But know that there's something a lot worse than being a weirdo - forgetting who you are, and trying to be something you're not. I think I did that. It's hard to be a weirdo alone. Always cutting against the grain. Never quite feeling understood. The worst is feeling that the best of you is not appreciated.
Harry Browne had a classic pop egoist book, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World. One very good bit of advice. Be who you are, and advertise who you are. Let your natural market come to you, instead of trying package yourself for a market that really doesn't value you.
Lots of talk about akrasia here. In my case, I'm sure a big part of it was trying to package myself for the approval of others, instead of being and doing what I wanted. How could I possibly have motivation for a life I didn't actually want?
We are not a Phyg! We are not a Phyg!
Stop worrying about how people with different values see this place, and start worrying about how to connect to people with the same values. Sell to your natural market.
Be who you are, Loudly and Unapologetically.
Keep your (status quo) identity small, don't be who you are, strive to be who you should be.
Given the historical usage of "should", I can't endorse this. Instead, I'd go with "become who you want to be".
"Want" seems insufficiently reflective, it suggests present opinion on the matter rather than an accurate estimate, whatever that turns out to be, and however well it can be known in practice (which is what I meant). To do as you should is to do the right thing (as opposed to the pebble-sorting thing, say).
To unpack a bit: there is this wanting/liking/approving distinction that already places "wanting" in the wrong corner, but even after that there is a level of reflection distinction between what more explicitly drives your behavior (or evaluation of your behavior) and how you would respond given more time and thought.