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Kingoftheinternet comments on No Value - Less Wrong
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I am actually quite extroverted. At school I have many good friends who I talk and joke with constantly. The problem is I never communicate on a deep level. We only ever chat about humorous things or intellectually interesting things, never emotions. I don't think I have ever connected to someone on that level. I often feel as though none really knows me.
I do enjoy hanging out with my friends, but it is just at a superficial level. I think I'm always trying to elicit attention and approval from others, but am intelligent enough to do it subtly (not "Hey look at my awesome test scores. Admire me!") I feel somewhat shyer around the "popular" people but also more greatly crave their approval. I don't know if that's a problem or just human nature.
Thanks for mentioning the drug, I'll look into it.
Yes, the key word was "close" friends. Having someone you care about who you can share just about anything with has no substitute. Introversion isn't the same as shyness; it has to do with what what type and amount of social interaction you enjoy, not what you're able to do. The fact that you have lots of people you'd call friends, but don't feel completely fulfilled by their friendship and want something deeper and more personal, leads me to believe you're more introverted than you think.
I believe I do indeed have a difficulty connecting with people in such a manner. Can that also be a psychological problem?
I agree with the post above advising "Wait, don't panic". I experienced (still do, sort of) exactly what you describe, and the people I developed the closest friendships with did as well. In fact, it was one of the primary contexts in which we were able to bond. As an intelligent person in a frequently alienating world, it can be very easy to feel disconnected and emotionally isolated. Don't immediately conclude that you have a disorder that requires medical treatment.
So, if it helps: a lot of people experience what you are going through. A lot of people feel empty. It might be learned helplessness, a self-defense mechanism, or something else entirely. But if you are interested in becoming a better, more fulfilled person, and willing to put in the work required, don't conclude you are broken. Make change, be open to happiness and emotion.
Also, I'm not going to claim that psychadelics don't have potential value in the arena of personal growth, but at your current position they are probably not an optimal strategy.