Errors in communication are there, believe me. Maybe their first mistake was choosing too big a topic (everything we disagree about :P), because it seems like they felt pressure to "touch on" a bunch of points, rather than saying "hold on, let's slow down and make sure we're talking about the same thing."
And if the other person is wrong and not a good communicator, there are still some things you can do to help the dialogue, though this is hard and I'm bad at it - changing yourself is easy by comparison. For example, if it turns out that you're talking about two different things (e.g. AI as it is likely to be built vs. AI "in general"), you can be the one to move over and talk about the thing the other person wants to talk about.
Well, I estimate negative utility for giving ideas about AI 'in general' to people who don't understand magnitude of distinction between AIs 'in general' (largely the AIs that could not be embedded within universe that has finite computational power), and the AIs that matter in practice.
I thought Ben Goertzel made an interesting point at the end of his dialog with Luke Muehlhauser, about how the strengths of both sides' arguments do not match up with the strengths of their intuitions:
What do we do about this disagreement and other similar situations, both as bystanders (who may not have strong intuitions of their own) and as participants (who do)?
I guess what bystanders typically do (although not necessarily consciously) is evaluate how reliable each party's intuitions are likely to be, and then use that to form a probabilistic mixture of the two sides' positions.The information that go into such evaluations could include things like what cognitive processes likely came up with the intuitions, how many people hold each intuition and how accurate each individual's past intuitions were.
If this is the best we can do (at least in some situations), participants could help by providing more information that might be relevant to the reliability evaluations, and bystanders should pay more conscious attention to such information instead of focusing purely on each side's arguments. The participants could also pretend that they are just bystanders, for the purpose of making important decisions, and base their beliefs on "reliability-adjusted" intuitions instead of their raw intuitions.
Questions: Is this a good idea? Any other ideas about what to do when strong intuitions meet weak arguments?
Related Post: Kaj Sotala's Intuitive differences: when to agree to disagree, which is about a similar problem, but mainly from the participant's perspective instead of the bystander's.