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patrissimo comments on Instrumental vs. Epistemic -- A Bardic Perspective - Less Wrong
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I've thought similar things. As a married man, I've also wondered whether certain aspects of the seduction community could be repurposed to maintain a high level of attraction within a long-term relationship. The misogyny of some PUAs is very troubling like you note, though.
You want this blog: http://www.marriedmansexlife.com/
I started reading this some, and it's perspective is jarring. From the introduction:
""" Let’s be real here – maybe you had some good reasons for marrying your wife – but we both know what really counted was you wanting to have sex with her. You might have done that “Pro and Con” thing with a line down the middle of the page, but whatever was on the “Con” column didn’t matter a damn compared to “I get to screw her!” on the “Pro” side of the page.
I also know that apart from your hobbies, pretty much everything else in your life is just a hoop that you have to jump through to get back to having sex with her. """
They present as an authority on what people think, yet they are way far off in explaining my motivations for marriage and work.