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ciphergoth comments on PSA: Learn to code - Less Wrong
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I recommend Eric Raymond's How To Become A Hacker. He suggests: first learn HTML markup. Then learn Python.
For a great many purposes, you can just stop there - there's an excellent chance that Python will do everything you ever want to do. However, if you want to get more deeply in to it, learn Java. Other languages that might be good to learn after that: Scheme, C, and if you really want to push the boat out, Haskell.
Edited in response to voting: Wait, what? I was offering support for ciphergoth's claim that haskell was something "all the cool kids" would have experience with seven years from now, and hence it was probably worth playing with. If people liked my quote they should like ciphergoth's moreso because he said it first and put it in context.