I'm currently reading "The Nurture Assumption", that goes into more details on the research showing the small effect of parenting styles, and the bigger effect of genetics and peers. There's still some stuff I'd want to research more (specifically, some parenting choices have effects on peer groups, like choosing where to live and where you send your kids to school; if Harris is right about the importance of peers I would expect that to show up as an effect of parenting style, but I haven't seen it discussed yet).

The lesson I get from all this isn't that as a parent I won't make a difference, but rather that making a difference is difficult, that requires solid knowledge and careful thought, and that most people don't put the effort into acquiring the knowledge or making sure it's reliable or thinking strategically, and instead follow what is normal or fashionable.

(I have a blog where I occasionally jot things down, though I haven't written much there lately)