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TheOtherDave comments on How can I argue without people online and not come out feeling bad? - Less Wrong
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Comments (29)
Massive endorsement for this one. I try to execute this as my own policy. I also tend to downvote every disengagement parting shot that I ever see. No matter how much I otherwise agree with the parting-shooter.
To my chagrin, knowing that seems to actually contribute to my likelihood of not doing it (as far as I can trust unaided introspection to report on such things).
I suppose, given that the impulse to do this in the first place seems to be entirely driven by status management drives in the first place, that shouldn't be too surprising.
Is the chagrin necessary? Not doing things because you know they make people think you are being a prat and so you anticipate a negative response is a good thing. Others benefit, you benefit. If I notice myself adapting to circumstance like that I reward myself, I don't feel guilt or shame.
Necessary, no. But I am in fact chagrined.
I seem to have internalized the idea that I ought to choose a course of action primarily for nonsocial reasons.
Which I don't endorse.
I know the feeling. Well, I knew the feeling until I beat it to death with a large stick over the course of a decade.