TheOtherDave comments on How can I argue without people online and not come out feeling bad? - Less Wrong

3 Post author: wantstojoinin 01 June 2012 02:24PM

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Comment author: wedrifid 01 June 2012 09:50:15PM 5 points [-]
  • I try to disengage without challenge.
    I find I'm often tempted, when I've decided to disengage from an exchange for whatever reason, to take a parting shot.
    I rarely find this valuable.
    I'm working on eliminating- this tendency.

Massive endorsement for this one. I try to execute this as my own policy. I also tend to downvote every disengagement parting shot that I ever see. No matter how much I otherwise agree with the parting-shooter.

Comment author: TheOtherDave 01 June 2012 10:13:02PM 0 points [-]

To my chagrin, knowing that seems to actually contribute to my likelihood of not doing it (as far as I can trust unaided introspection to report on such things).

I suppose, given that the impulse to do this in the first place seems to be entirely driven by status management drives in the first place, that shouldn't be too surprising.

Comment author: wedrifid 01 June 2012 10:32:24PM 1 point [-]

To my chagrin, knowing that seems to actually contribute to my likelihood of not doing it

Is the chagrin necessary? Not doing things because you know they make people think you are being a prat and so you anticipate a negative response is a good thing. Others benefit, you benefit. If I notice myself adapting to circumstance like that I reward myself, I don't feel guilt or shame.

Comment author: TheOtherDave 01 June 2012 10:53:07PM 2 points [-]

Necessary, no. But I am in fact chagrined.
I seem to have internalized the idea that I ought to choose a course of action primarily for nonsocial reasons.
Which I don't endorse.

Comment author: wedrifid 01 June 2012 11:04:37PM *  1 point [-]

I seem to have internalized the idea that I ought to choose a course of action primarily for nonsocial reasons.

I know the feeling. Well, I knew the feeling until I beat it to death with a large stick over the course of a decade.