I'm sorry that my explanations didn't work for you; I'll try to think of something better :).

Meanwhile, I don't think it is good to think in terms of matter "suspended" above the event horizon without crossing it. It is mathematically true that the null geodesics (lightray trajectories) coming from an infalling trajectory, leaving from it over the finite proper time period that it takes for it to get to the event horizon, will reach you (as a far-away observer) over an infinite range of your proper time. But I don't think much of physical significance follows from this. There is a good discussion of the issue in Misner, Thorne and Wheeler's textbook: IIRC, a calculation is outlined showing that, if we treat the light coming from the falling chunk of matter classically, its intensity is exponentially suppressed for the far-away observer over a relatively short period of time, and if we treat it in a quantum way, there are only a finite expected amount of photons received, again over a relatively short time. So the "hovering matter" picture is a kind of mathematical illusion: if you are far away looking at falling matter, you actually do see it disappear when it reaches the event horizon.