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fubarobfusco comments on Summary of "How to Win Friends and Influence People" - Less Wrong
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People who have read this book seem to think it is polite or pleasant to repeatedly use a person's first name in conversation.
Perhaps it was so, in the 1930s. However, I suspect that something has changed since then, namely, the popularity of this book with salespeople. Today, repeatedly using a person's name in conversation makes you sound like an overly ingratiating salesperson who's read Dale Carnegie. Don't do this; it's creepy.
There's another effect - using someone's name helps you remember them better, and makes them feel that they should remember your name.
But yeah, easy to overdo. To misquote Pratchett: "As there are only two of us in this conversation, I don't need reminders about my own name."
It's easy to overdo, but there's still a ways to slide up the spectrum before it comes off that way. You can be like "Bob, what do you think?", instead of "Hey, what do you think" plus looking at Bob intently. Also works okay while delivering a compliment - "Bob, you're hilarious!".
Yes. I would add greetings and farewells to the class of social contexts in which addressing someone by his or her name is desirable. 'Hi, Bob' and 'Bye, Tina' are almost always preferable to 'Hi' and 'Bye', respectively.
Probably the optimal place to use someone's name is in close proximity to the nicest thing you're going to say in the conversation. This may train them to feel good when you say their name, at which point you probably start saying it at the start of the conversation too, to put things on a good footing.
True enough. Most of the incidents I'm thinking of involved using the person's name as an aside — "Well, what I'd do, Bob, is analyze the process ... you see, Bob, we can leverage the underlying synergies and push the envelope on the business plan, Bob ..."
Don't do it repeatedly, sure, but do it at least once in each conversation, I'd expect.