Ruling out backwards causality, I would two-box, and I would get $1000 unless Omega made a mistake.
No, I wouldn't rather be someone who two-boxes in Newcomb, because if Omega makes its predictions based on the past, this would only lead to me losing $1000, because Newcomb is a one-time problem. I would have to choose differently in other decisions for Omega to change its prediction, and that is something I'm not willing to do.
Of course if I'm allowed to communicate with Omega, I would try to convince it that I'll be one-boxing (while still two-boxing), and if I can increase the probability of Omega predicting me to one-box enough to justify actually precommiting to one-boxing (by use of a lie detector or whatever), then I would do that.
However, in reality I would probably get some satisfaction out of proving Omega wrong, so the payoff matrix may not be that simple. I don't think this is in any way relevant to the theoretical problem, though.
I have read lots of LW posts on this topic, and everyone seems to take this for granted without giving a proper explanation. So if anyone could explain this to me, I would appreciate that.
This is a simple question that is in need of a simple answer. Please don't link to pages and pages of theorycrafting. Thank you.
Edit: Since posting this, I have come to the conclusion that CDT doesn't actually play Newcomb. Here's a disagreement with that statement:
And here's my response:
Edit 2: Clarification regarding backwards causality, which seems to confuse people:
Edit 3: Further clarification on the possible problems that could be considered Newcomb:
Edit 4: Excerpt from Nozick's "Newcomb's Problem and Two Principles of Choice":