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JenniferRM comments on Where to Intervene in a Human? - Less Wrong
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The highest-level hack I've found useful is to make a habit of noticing and recording the details of any part of my life that gives me trouble. It's amazing how quickly patterns start to jump out when you've assembled actual data about something that's vaguely frustrated you for a while.
I've had the same experience. Connected with this, I've found it very useful to periodically process the same notes into a polite summary and communicate them with people who are interested and working on the same or related tasks. It does all kinds of good stuff, like helping me develop a more realistic "outside perspective" of myself, allowing me to function as a role model for self-aware self-improvement, engaging commitment and consistency in useful directions, and so on.