Marcy_Azraelle comments on In Defense of Tone Arguments - Less Wrong

24 Post author: OrphanWilde 19 July 2012 07:48PM

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Comment author: Marcy_Azraelle 13 December 2012 08:08:20AM *  2 points [-]

This...it is pretty frustrating when I see people who are supposedly on my side say things like "it's not my duty to educate people" or "allies get no cookies for doing what we tell them to".

It's like they gave up with actually convincing anyone to be less evil and just want to yell at people.

I even made a blog labeled as being a bit about social justice, without knowing people there had given "social justice" such a bad name...I try to be nice and reasonable instead, maybe I can surprise a few people with that and actually help.

Comment author: Viliam_Bur 20 March 2013 12:03:45PM 3 points [-]

Yelling at people is high-status. Talking with people politely signals respecting them as equals.

If (I believe) I am wise and good, and the other people are ignorant and evil, it feels completely natural to act high-status towards them. Treating them as equals could even lower my status in the eyes of my friends.

Monkeys all the way down...

Comment author: Kawoomba 20 March 2013 02:07:40PM 2 points [-]

Yelling at people is high-status.

Depends on the context. Not yelling can also be a high-status. Consider a CEO talking in soft tones when faced with grim news during a large meeting, signifying that he doesn't even need to raise his voice to command all others to listen to him.

There's a mind game aspect to it; for nearly any high-status move I can think of, doing the exact opposite is an even higher-status move (if you can pull it off), emphasizing that you don't even need to rely on giving off high-status vibes in the conventional way. Consider e.g. Silicon Valley CEOs in casual clothing, or "old money" foregoing the usual trappings of status.

Comment author: Viliam_Bur 20 March 2013 02:35:49PM *  1 point [-]

Depends on the context.

Absolutely. The CEO's soft talk in your example is impressive because no one else dares to interrupt them. If you imagine a commision of dozen people, where one starts speaking with a soft voice, and is immediately interrupted by someone else yelling, and people show their agreement with the yelling person... that would send a completely different message about status within the group. -- To an outside observer, the first person could seem more sympatetic. But within the group, the second person is the winner, at least for the given moment.

There's a mind game aspect to it; for nearly any high-status move I can think of, doing the exact opposite is an even higher-status move (if you can pull it off),

And you can usually pull it off only if you have already accumulated enough status through other means. (I do X and conspicuously abstain from doing Y, to emphasise the power of my X.)

My model of a typical "people enthusiastic about fixing the rotten world" group is that most people there focus on looking good in the eyes of their peers. (If that actively harms the goal, most of them don't realize it. And if the world does not improve despite the effort of the group, that only confirms that the word really is rotten and the group is superior to the outsiders.) If you have very high status, you can afford speaking politely with the ignorant evil outsiders, because your peers know that despite your polite facade you truly despise them in your heart. But only a few members have status this high. Most people work actively on gaining it by signalling their loyalty to the group values, for example by yelling at people who disagree. And, for obvious evo-psych reasons, yelling at outsiders, especially the meek ones, when you have a full backup of your tribe, feels good.

(Note: Despite the tone of this comment, in the past I was a member of groups that tried to make other people see the light -- although I didn't yell at anyone -- and I was yelled at or otherwise shown contempt by groups who tried to make me see the light. In one case it was the same group, a few years later. I consider yelling and other forms of contempt unproductive when spreading ideas, but I understand the temptation of a monkey brain to do that.)

Comment author: RichardKennaway 20 March 2013 01:30:45PM -2 points [-]

Yelling at people is high-status.

A homeless tramp yelling at every passerby is not high status. Fact is, yelling can mean anything (an instance of the general rule that anything can mean anything). It can imply that you are in a position of weakness, having to yell to get anyone to pay attention. In can imply that you are in a position of strength, being able to get away with yelling at people. It can imply you're just an asshole.

Talking with people politely signals respecting them as equals.

Talking with people politely signals respecting them, period.

If (I believe) I am wise and good, and the other people are ignorant and evil, it feels completely natural to act high-status towards them.

What feels natural to you is a fact about you.

Treating them as equals could even lower my status in the eyes of my friends.

You need a better class of friend.

Comment author: wedrifid 20 March 2013 01:51:36PM *  0 points [-]

A homeless tramp yelling at every passerby is not high status.

Being a homeless tramp is low status. Said tramp using a social move that constitutes a status grab does not thereby change the principles of social dynamics.

Fact is, yelling can mean anything (an instance of the general rule that anything can mean anything).

This theory is worse than useless.

Talking with people politely signals respecting them, period.

Period? What happened to your 'general rule that anything can mean anything'? Is that the kind of fully general counterargument that applies only to your rivals, and not yourself?

What feels natural to you is a fact about you.

Non-sequitur one-upmanship.

You need a better class of friend.

Disingenuous and rude. You are attempting to distort Viliam's counter-factual illustration into a confession of weak social alliances. That would be untenable as a sincere interpretation of the meaning.

Comment author: [deleted] 20 March 2013 04:25:42PM 1 point [-]

Yelling at people is high-status. Talking with people politely signals respecting them as equals.

I think that in certain cases (e.g. when your opponent is already very low status) it's the other way round.