wedrifid comments on A Marriage Ceremony for Aspiring Rationalists - Less Wrong

38 Post author: lukeprog 23 July 2012 07:33PM

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Comment author: wedrifid 24 July 2012 06:22:52AM 10 points [-]

Do you vow that you will together create and maintain your shared picture of the world, sharing your discoveries and insights, hiding nothing that the other would with to know.

Wow, that's a rather significant vow if taken literally.

Comment author: MixedNuts 24 July 2012 02:50:43PM 4 points [-]

Willingly promising to turn down any offer of the form "I'll tell you a secret if you don't repeat it"? Yeah, hardcore. For one thing this bars them from any job with non-disclosure agreements.

Comment author: Alicorn 24 July 2012 06:14:35PM 19 points [-]

If they're good decision theorists, they will just not wish to know anything that their wishing to know would cause problems like that.

Comment author: DaFranker 24 July 2012 09:10:57PM *  3 points [-]

If they're good rationalists overall, they could also establish as common knowledge that they both timelessly decide not to predict/estimate their spouse would wish to know something which is known by themselves to be likely to bring about lower total utility to them both than if the spouse had never wished to know it, whether the spouse knows of this or not.

Comment author: wedrifid 25 July 2012 01:42:38AM *  2 points [-]

If they're good decision theorists, they will just not wish to know anything that their wishing to know would cause problems like that.

If they're good decision theorists they will just not make commitments that can only have downsides (relative to more careful commitments). It is of benefit to neither to arrange a system that requires mindreading how well the other person has mindread you and chosen to self modify to not want the thing that you would want them to not want to know. All that can do is allow extra opportunities for any deviation from good decision theory at any time to cause problems.

Comment author: thomblake 24 July 2012 06:58:42PM -1 points [-]

You could just assume all NDAs apply equally well to the spouse. They should just be considered legally one person.

Comment author: handoflixue 24 July 2012 11:00:39PM 10 points [-]

You could also assume that all guns are toy replicas. Assuming things like this is not well known for actually changing how the world works, however, so it's usually best to deal with reality as it actually is instead.

Comment author: wedrifid 25 July 2012 06:39:46AM 0 points [-]

You could just assume all NDAs apply equally well to the spouse. They should just be considered legally one person.

That's the decision of the person providing the Non Disclosure Agreement, not the decision of the people engaging in bonding rituals.

Comment author: thomblake 25 July 2012 01:55:49PM 0 points [-]

I'm pretty sure it's some combination of the decisions of both parties making the agreement, and the relevant laws.

Comment author: handoflixue 02 August 2012 07:43:01PM 1 point [-]

I've definitely seen NDAs negotiated to cover a spouse, but this needs to be negotiated in advance, and will require the spouse to sign as well. More importantly, my experience is that it is absolutely NOT reasonable to expect this when signing an NDA. Quite a few organizations will shoot it down, either because they view the request as unreasonable, or simply because of the sheer bureaucratic wrangling it would take to make an exception.

Comment author: thomblake 03 August 2012 03:07:24PM 0 points [-]

To clarify, my comment was not about what is a reasonable assumption given the current legal state of affairs. It was a suggestion for how married couples could legally be viewed.

In practice, I would guess that most people who sign NDAs and are married just disregard them when it comes to one's spouse, so people providing NDAs really should be aware of that if they're concerned.

Comment author: handoflixue 02 August 2012 07:43:42PM 0 points [-]

Upvoted because I can't see any reason THIS comment should be negative, even if I STRONGLY disagree with the "just assume they apply" comment beforehand.

Comment author: Nisan 26 July 2012 03:47:03AM 1 point [-]

In theory, yes, but probably not in practice.