Cults may be inclined to go out of their way to make themselves look like cults to keep rational people from joining in, similar to reasoning outlined in this paper .From inside POV most cults look like noncults, by the way. Cults are diverse; almost any cult has some qualities that distinguish it from all other cults, and those qualities are then seen as what makes it not a cult at all.

Have you not attended many non-traditional marriages? I've been to a wiccan wedding that was officiated by the groom's brother, and a goth wedding (dress up, on Oct 31st!) officiated by a friend of the bride & groom. Generally when you step outside of the traditional church-and-clergy model the couple chooses someone they feel close to and respect. I don't see why that should set off any alarms.

Well, yeah. Weddings are rituals. And families are cults.

Generally, he wouldn't have the power to officiate a marriage in California. See California Family Code section 400 and so on. Basically, only religious clergy and state officials can do that. That's the culture and law that applies in Berkeley, California.

There seems to be an exception under which someone can become a temporary "deputy commissioner of marriages" for the purpose of one ceremony. If you don't believe in religion, and (like me) you fear that the government has its own PHYGish tendencies, this doesn't seem like a bad alternative.