There's a bit of confounding between

• "Hug?" "No, I don't want a hug." "Okay, won't ask again."
• "Hug?" "No, I don't want a hug." "How dare you deny me what I want?"
• "Hug?" "No, I want to lower your status, and this refusal is a way to do that." "Okay, I'm a worthless and horrible person and should grovel."
• "Hug?" "No, I want to lower your status, and this refusal is a way to do that." "How dare you rudely shun me?"

The usual way is to convey requests and refusals by cues too subtle for status fights. The nerdy way is to always interpret answers as preference reports, not status fights. Bad things happen in the intersection.