Alicorn comments on How to deal with someone in a LessWrong meeting being creepy - Less Wrong

16 Post author: Douglas_Reay 09 September 2012 04:41AM

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Comment author: Alicorn 08 September 2012 07:32:17PM 8 points [-]

I like the sentence "I am done being teased now". It seems to work pretty well.

Comment author: NancyLebovitz 08 September 2012 07:37:49PM 5 points [-]

Thanks-- I'll keep it in mind. The advantage might be that it has no flavor of "please stop teasing me".

Comment author: SilasBarta 09 September 2012 01:43:25AM 5 points [-]

I think it manages to avoid the usual unpleasantness associated with saying, "hey, this is serious now", but then, I prefer bluntness anyway.

Comment author: Alicorn 08 September 2012 07:43:54PM 4 points [-]

It doesn't say please at all. It says "we were doing this thing. Now we aren't anymore."

Comment author: NancyLebovitz 08 September 2012 08:07:07PM 12 points [-]

Exactly. It's a status assertion.

I've presumably got some background assumptions that being teased means I'm in a one-down position.

Comment author: katydee 12 September 2012 10:55:46AM 4 points [-]

Since many issues of this type stem not from polite-but-overreaching people but rather the legitimately impolite, this method may not always be hugely effective. Legitimately impolite people would hear something like that and reply "Are you?" with a smirk. Also, if you get angry or seriously assertive, they are likely to assume the problem is on your end and tell people about how "crazy" you are.

The fact that many people reward such behavior is of course a major contributor to this issue.

Comment author: Alicorn 12 September 2012 03:24:23PM 3 points [-]

Yeah, I solve that problem on the meta-level by not hanging out with impolite people after discovering this fact about them.

Comment author: SilasBarta 09 September 2012 01:38:00AM *  11 points [-]

I like that approach. Unfortunately, for some of the most socially-adept (in other respects), any request not to tease is itself regarded as an invitation for more teasing -- or at least, the "I really need to stop" sensor is way too insensitive to negatives. Even worse, some end up liking the person because of this (which obviously has horrid incentive effects).