It still seems to add up to that I (as a white person) am supposed to show unlimited patience.

In what context? Nobody said you had to participate in the discussion, right? Is it vitally important that you be there, having that conversation with those people?

Also, the sort of anger you're describing doesn't just show up against people who show up in a dedicated online group which isn't interested in doing 101 yet another time.

I...said that, yeah. I said that first, in fact. That was the first part of my post, before the other thing...