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TimS comments on The noncentral fallacy - the worst argument in the world? - Less Wrong
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The word control is being use idiosyncratically. In a certain sense, everyone exerts control over everyone in ways that are not examined self-reflexively. Consider the gym teacher's expectations of the quality of your physical activity during gym class.
I assert that the idiosyncratic usage more accurately cuts the world at its joints. The current usage persists because certain segments of society benefit from the status quo and therefore ridicule suggestion to be more self-reflexive. Consider the standard mainstream responses to a post like "Buy your Utiles and Warm-Fuzzies Seperately."
P.S. It doesn't reflect well on advocates of social change when they don't note their idiosyncratic definitions. I urge you to rise about it and Steel-Man your interlocutors.
The problem was not with the word "control", but with the word "exert". eridu claimed that, for example, I exert power and control over my wife, without any information other than that I am "non-feminist" (by eridu's definition of "feminist"). This is strange, as I would not normally say that X exerts Y in the absence of any information about in what ways X might be exerting oneself.
It seems as though eridu is routinely overgeneralizing and denying differences between individuals. It's effectively the same problem as gender discrimination, in a different context.
Honestly, I can't tell if eridu is poor at articulating a position I agree with or actually believes a position that I reject. He's certainly treating arguments like soldiers (which is bad).
I think eridu's suggested changes have low-hanging fruit that will obviate the need for more extreme changes. He is getting a lot more hostile feedback than his position deserves.