Khan Academy has a programming course? I might try it.
Mostly, I want the easiest, most handholdy experience possible. Baby talk if necessary. Every experience informs me that programming is hard.
The first trick is to be able to describe how to solve a problem; and then break that description down into the smallest possible units and write it out such that there's absolutely no possibility of a misunderstanding, no matter what conditions occur.
Once you've got that done, it's fairly easy to learn how to translate it into a programming language.
Here's the new thread for posting quotes, with the usual rules: