Manfred comments on Call for Anonymous Narratives by LW Women and Question Proposals (AMA) - Less Wrong

20 [deleted] 09 September 2012 08:39AM

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Comment author: khafra 12 September 2012 01:32:35PM 6 points [-]

This confirms every fear about the convoluted and thin line between being stiffly and unnaturally standoffish and creepy that's ever kept me from going to a dance class. I'm quite positive I would spend the first few classes being told to just loosen up a little, to not be afraid of my dance partner, finally try really hard to do that--and forever earn a reputation as a creep.

Please don't read this as a rebuke or admonishment; I'm actually glad to know that my fears were well-founded; and learning to dance isn't really that important to me.

Comment author: Manfred 17 September 2012 01:32:53PM *  2 points [-]

As a guy, I don't think it's that bad. If you cannot avoid holding your partner, and you don't feel comfortable with it, or you worry that your partner won't feel comfortable with it, there is a well-tested set of ground rules to tell you what to do. Basically, each dance will have a standard "frame," which is how the dancers should (according to various formal groups - the more formal the dance lessons, the more likely this is to actually be an element of the lesson) be positioned relative to each other. If this isn't made clear, nobody will think you're silly if you ask.