(I trust I will be forgiven for the overwrought and repetitive prose that follows. In my defense, on this issue, I really do try to think in such terms, and arguably all this drama is a large part of why the method works as well as it does.)

My improvement program, which has been working fairly well so far, although I am still continually refining things as I will detail below, is based on the opposite principle. Rather than setting explicit measurable goals, I try to continually remind myself that every minute and every dime is precious, and every minute and every dime that you don't spend doing the best thing you can possibly be doing is a mark of sin upon your soul, and furthermore that this is not some extremist dictate, but rather a tautology---that's what the word "best" means: that which you should be doing. Rather than goals to satisfice, I want to have a utility function to maximize. I do not place myself under some dreaded burden to fulfill some oath: I'm just trying to not be stupid. There is no such thing as "leisure"---everything is booked under "Dayjob" or "Lifework" or "Education" or "Maintenance," for every book that you read makes you stronger, every problem that you solve increases your beauty, every line that you write is another stitch in your ball gown. It is not: "Once I finish my homework, I can watch the teevee or play flash games on the internet." As an autodidactic generalist, I either have no homework, or an infinite amount of homework, depending on how you want to phrase things. I don't want to watch the goddam teevee! Mathematics is more fun than those moronic flash games! Slacking off is not a guilty indulgence; it's just stupid, and the entirety of my powers are now devoted to the monumental task of not-being-stupid. I recognize no other intertemporal selves to bargain with---I have but one Self, a timeless abstract optimization process to which this ape is but a horribly disfigured approximation. There have been times when I was tempted to go buy an ice cream ("frozen yogurt") and even took a few steps towards the shop before thinking---is this really what I want? Living as I am on short time, wouldn't have rather have that four dollars which is equivalent to twenty-four minutes at my crappy dayjob? I prefer the money, so I turned and walked back to my car.

All this is not to say I am in no need of more structure---it would be helpful to keep some sort of schedule or timelog, not in the form of an oath to another self from another time, but simply as a guideline to give direction to my full autodidactic fury. I've experimented with this and that, to no notable success so far---but I'm going to keep hacking away at this; sunk costs can't play into your decision theory, so no number of failures can discourage an expected utility maximizer, though such a thing might happen to a goddam ape.

Am I kidding myself?---in some sense, maybe a little. How much writing have I done?--when allegedly my lifework was supposed to be a work of fiction. Does it only seem like I've been being more efficient, because I've been doing so much math and programming which leaves a paper trail, as compared to reading which doesn't? But for once in my life, induction is on my side now: I've gotten better before, so I can do so again. I don't watch teevee any more, and I don't play flash games---I'm not even tempted. I don't know what my limits are. So help me.