therufs comments on LW Women- Minimizing the Inferential Distance - Less Wrong

58 [deleted] 25 November 2012 11:33PM

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Comment author: therufs 28 November 2012 05:31:07AM *  0 points [-]

The speaker isn't trying to get his daughter to marry whether she wants to or not. He is trying to get her to want to, or to not question whether she wants to (or more likely not considering whether she wants to, but nevermind that at the moment).

These seem pretty significantly different to me. Also, why are we neverminding consideration of what the daughter wants?

Comment author: Randy_M 28 November 2012 03:40:48PM 1 point [-]

Not quite what I meant; sorry for being unclear. I meant, the most likely case is that the words weren't very thoughtfully spoken in general, but I wanted to address the sentiment that might have been behind them if they were designed for effect.

I'll speak for myself, here. I wouldn't verbally or physically force a daughter of mine (I have two or three) to get married, but I will present it as normative because I believe she will be happier if she does so (after careful selection of a mate, etc.). So I could easily see myself saying "Wow, I'm glad to see you learning to cook, that's something your husband will really appreciate one day." If I have a son, I'll likely expect him to pick up some cooking skills as well, but I don't think that those skills are as attractive to a potential wife as vice versa.