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therufs comments on LW Women- Minimizing the Inferential Distance - Less Wrong
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"Not quite -- mainly because finishing high school even if you didn't want to/really give it much thought is more likely to be an overall benefit, whereas getting married even if you didn't want to/give it much thought is unlikely to turn out happily"
The speaker isn't trying to get his daughter to marry whether she wants to or not. He is trying to get her to want to, or to not question whether she wants to (or more likely not considering whether she wants to, but nevermind that at the moment). What influences the desires a person has? Few people choose to choose their desires, and while a lot is innate, I don't think there is anything wrong, fundamentally, with trying to influence your childrens desires and assumptions toward what you understand to be good ends.
These seem pretty significantly different to me. Also, why are we neverminding consideration of what the daughter wants?
Not quite what I meant; sorry for being unclear. I meant, the most likely case is that the words weren't very thoughtfully spoken in general, but I wanted to address the sentiment that might have been behind them if they were designed for effect.
I'll speak for myself, here. I wouldn't verbally or physically force a daughter of mine (I have two or three) to get married, but I will present it as normative because I believe she will be happier if she does so (after careful selection of a mate, etc.). So I could easily see myself saying "Wow, I'm glad to see you learning to cook, that's something your husband will really appreciate one day." If I have a son, I'll likely expect him to pick up some cooking skills as well, but I don't think that those skills are as attractive to a potential wife as vice versa.