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MugaSofer comments on LW Women Submissions: On Misogyny - Less Wrong
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That sounds like a very dangerous social norm, which should probably be changed at the earliest opportunity, but excellent point.
I don't necessarily agree. It's dangerous if there's a grey zone and all parties sort of sidle into it and bad stuff happens, but I think it's not bad to have a subset of parties for this purpose. A more socially acceptable and accessible version of play parties :)
If the norms were better articulated people could more clearly consent or opt out, but as it is I'd say it's easier to treat drinking as its own thing and create such parties from scratch if you must have them.