bogus comments on LW Women Entries- Creepiness - Less Wrong

7 [deleted] 28 April 2013 03:43PM

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Comment author: bogus 28 April 2013 07:10:39PM 9 points [-]

I used to offer numbers, but the incentives are such that I deliberately switched with exactly this in mind. If you want to fix this, give a fake number, say no, or somehow work on the incentives.

Yes, it's common to find that offering numbers doesn't work very well. One common thing is to ask to exchange numbers.

  • Interacting with women is distressing.
  • I become subhuman around women (like the examples in OP).

You're going to have a bad time, especially since your emotional distress can be sensed by others and unconciously make them more wary as well. When in doubt, you need to project yourself as outcome independent, i.e. you should not care whether the other person is interested in you. You can make this easier by practicing social interaction with other sorts of people, where sexuality or things like that are not going to be an issue.

Comment author: Error 29 April 2013 06:39:48PM 1 point [-]

When in doubt, you need to project yourself as outcome independent, i.e. you should not care whether the other person is interested in you.

There is something wrong about things when the people who care the most are the ones who are most likely to fail.

And I don't mean wrong as in incorrect. It's just a horrible way for the world to work.

Comment author: savageorange 02 May 2013 06:35:46AM 1 point [-]

The trouble is that multiple meanings of 'care' are involved here. If I'm a really good artist, I'm not going to care1 about producing a quality picture, but I am going to care2 about producing a quality picture. The difference is whether you're thinking about 'doing it right this time', or 'doing it right, however many tries that takes'

It certainly seems like a perverse incentive, but when I think about it, it's really just the difference between wanting a magic bullet and being willing to work hard to achieve your desired outcome. The only real alternative would be a world that incentivized wanting magic bullets.

Or to put it another way: One of those types of 'care' should be written 'is desperate'/'enslaved to their emotions'.

(i'd format those numbers as superscript, but I haven't found how to.)

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