buybuydandavis comments on LW Women Entries- Creepiness - Less Wrong

7 [deleted] 28 April 2013 03:43PM

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Comment author: buybuydandavis 30 April 2013 04:16:01PM *  4 points [-]

I certainly sympathize with being shy, as I used to be more shy, and tend to like shy people.

But consider the situation from the perspective of the person the shy person has desire for, but won't fully assert the desire for. The shy person seems interested. They're sort of approaching, but they don't make a move that you feel you could reject without seeming presumptuous. You're put in a position where either you escalate, or you live with an uncomfortable and unresolved situation.

I think that's a consistent theme across similar senses of creepiness. An unresolved discomfort with someone, perceiving a likely escalation on their part, where the removal of the discomfort at your initiative requires confrontation and potential escalation.

There's no crime to shyness, but one should be aware how your behavior affects other people.

Comment author: OrphanWilde 30 April 2013 04:40:03PM 5 points [-]

Flip side, however, they didn't escalate because they already knew they'd be rejected, and don't want to potentially terminate the non-romantic friendship in pursuit of unrequited feelings.

Is escalation and subsequent rejection an improvement in the general case?