Thanks for being honest and open about this.

I agree that willpower isn't a solution. How much time have you spent brainstorming- literally and explicitly brainstorming- other solutions? There might be Third Alternatives out there which would allow you to enjoy the company of other women without sliding into those habits.

(Important addendum: when I have a problem this significant, I first brainstorm about any roots of the problem I can find, reducing it as far as possible: e.g. my issues with overcompetitiveness and anxiety boiled down in part to a defense strategy self-narrative I used unconsciously as a kid to feel better about having few friends, and realizing this made it easier to discard that self-narrative now that I have many friends. Only when I don't feel confused about the roots of the problem do I work on brainstorming explicit plans and actions.)