Is this an expression of your prior about the size of the category, or your posterior? Have you updated your prior on learning (to your surprise) that people apparently do feel excluded/get distracted by this sort of thing?

Prior. I have updated very slightly towards Emily's position, but this is balanced by the responses from every female I have personally asked about this, all of whom fell into the a) or b) response. Of course, we all know that comparing two very small samples is far from ideal :-)

As an aside, would it surprise you if people felt excluded by your telling them that you find their concerns "really annoying"?

No, but excluding people is certainly not the intent. Every time I write something I assume that someone, somewhere will find it really annoying.