Where you "attribute [your] distraction entirely to the sense that it was directed at a presumed male audience", I attribute my distraction entirely to the sense that it was directed at a presumed American audience.

Here's where your analogy runs off the rails. Alicorn's text isn't directed at a presumed American audience -- it's directed at an audience presumed to be able to infer that Mountain Dew contains caffeine where she lives. Your rejoinder skips over this exact point made by Alicorn:

I wouldn't have blinked if Psychohistorian had phrased the original remark about women as "I'll still find women alluring", making it about himself instead of about women.

I'm sorry if it wasn't clear, but the choice of the words "wacky foreign" was to be silly (in an apparently failed attempt to keep the discussion light), not to indicate an actual belief about the relative wackiness of foreign and domestic soft drinks.