"Please please please let this just be a nightmare - no, this is definitely real. I have way too much context for this to be a dream."
Given the existence of schizophrenia and so forth, this actually seems like a reasonable node to have on your search tree :)
Even just given the existence of nightmares it's a reasonable node to have on your search tree. I've never been in a war or a debilitating accident, so all the times I've ended up maimed or disfigured have been in my dreams. And all the times I've had loved ones killed in front of me or accidentally killed people I cared about.
I've lived a fortunate enough life (at least relative to my experiences while asleep) that noticing when whatever's happening to me seems to be just too horrible, and considering whether I'm just dreaming it, has by and large been an extremely useful response which has resulted in a lot of reduced stress.
Well, I used to think that I do not believe in anything supernatural that affects what happens to me, but I'm wondering if maybe I actually do alieve in it. For example, a few days ago I had a close call in traffic, and when a collision I fully expected to happen just a second prior did not transpire, I mentally thanked... whom? I definitely had a clear feeling of gratitude for escaping, and I don't normally mean it literally when I say "Thank God!". So, who or what did I feel thankful to? I've never been religious, and I got rid of most of my superstitions over the years, but apparently there is still something there, and I do not know how to react to this knowledge.
What would be the proper reaction after a close call? Shrug and say "got lucky this time, should be more cautious next time"? What about when waiting for a diagnosis, what does sort-of-praying "please, please, let everything be OK" say about one's true beliefs? I know that I am much better at not blaming the world when something bad happens to me by chance than at not thanking the world when something good happens. Should it not be symmetric? Which part of a normally non-religious person wakes up and asserts itself in a crisis situation out of their control? Should it be embraced, suppressed, worked on?