we are socially weird for being willing to discuss the social rules

Well...only insofar as we discuss the social rules on Lesswrong itself. No one, not even the high school clique, is uncomfortable with discussing social rules as generalities. I've seen school age kids discuss these things as generalities quite enthusiastically when a teacher instigates the discussion.

It's only when specific names and people are mentioned that the discussion can become dangerous for the speakers. But this is no more true for social rules than it is for other conversations of similar type - for instance, when pointing out flaws of people sitting around you. I don't think LW is immune to this (for example, the use of the word "phyg" is particularly salient, if usually tongue-in-cheek, example) although the anonymity and fact that very few of us know each other personally does provide some level of protection.