I have thought about suicide before in ways vaguely similar to what you describe. At the time, I thought that everything was okay and that playing around with the thought was something reasonable people did, 'cause hey, it's just a thought experiment, I think about all sorts of things, am I right? Looking back at that time I realized I definitely had depression or something similar. I didn't have thoughts of suicide before the hard times and I don't now, and when I fully realized this I became convinced ("in the gut", not just head knowledge) that thoughts of suicide, rolling it around the tongue as it were, are probably a good sign that the general you should seek help, just like all the literature and internets said the whole time.

Am I generalizing? Maybe you're different, but let me lay out the argument clearly:

• Common professional knowledge says to seek help if you have thoughts of suicide, even if you think it's not something you'd ever do (so much suicide is impulsive!)
• I had thoughts of suicide, and I thought there were good reasons the common professional knowledge didn't apply to me
• Later, after help and recovery, I did not have thoughts of suicide, and thought that my past self really really should have taken thoughts of suicide as a strong signal to seek help, even though my past self thought he had reason to disregard the common professional knowledge

I am not a mental health professional. I have on occasion noticed when my brain has sabotaged me, though, and believing myself such a thinker that thoughts of suicide surely didn't point to any problems? That was my brain sabotaging me.