Oh man, I kinda know that feeling. I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
I guess I agree that sometimes it isn't worth trying to change the group's behavior, but sometimes it's not worth it to try really hard to avoid crying or puking either? Like, expending X amount of effort to avoid crying or puking isn't worth it if you can use any Y < X effort telling the group to stop being jerks about it. And maybe repairing puke damage, etc. Mainly I'm just arguing that crying and puking shouldn't be included in the "stay classy" heuristic and deserve their own cost-benefit analysis. Factoring them into that heuristic may lead to a lot of wasted effort and stress.
Also, sometimes puking happens for a really good reason! I once accidentally drank moldy water and I puked like 30 minutes after. =/ I was really impressed! I guess we're more optimized for unpoisoning ourselves than for un-carpal-tunneling ourselves.
Mainly I'm just arguing that crying and puking shouldn't be included in the "stay classy" heuristic and deserve their own cost-benefit analysis.
I wouldn't refrain from puking if I needed to, since it generally means my body is unpoisoning itself, but I WANT to avoid situations where I need to (i.e. don't go out if I have the flu, don't do six shots on an empty stomach)
If it's important to you to cry, find an audience that's okay with it. I don't see this as a special case - if you dislike suits, don't hang around with people who consider jeans...
I'm not as smart as I like to think I am. Knowing that, I've gotten into a habit of trying to work out as many general principles as I can ahead of time, so that when I actually need to think of something, I've already done as much of the work as I can.
What are your most useful cached thoughts?
A few of the rules-of-thumb I've already pre-cached include:
That should be a reasonable but not overwhelming sample of the sorts of ideas I mean, and am hoping to evoke more of with this post.